URGENT!!! Fascist Terror Threat Level
The Clown Army of Resistance (C.A.R.) is issuing it's first, and hopeful penultimate FTTL.
FASCIST TERROR THREAT LEVEL (FTTL)
Whelp, we might have to clown in conditions like 1980s Columbia, only without the cocaine. We still believe Hisself, Jnr. snorted it all. BIG Buckle UP! Canadians would be raising elbows, but we might move our plastic giant buckles all the way up to our chins tomorrow.
Reason for the FTTL
Operatives in the C.A.R. are hearing credible chatter from fascist terror cells about planned very sad and unpatriotic attacks on #NoKings rallies. We are not positioned to prevent or dissuade these possible fascist terror attacks. But we will not be cowed by threats from fascists. We will be present at #NoKings rallies recruiting. We plan at least one mobile recruitment center in a major metropolitan area.
We are issuing this FTTL because civilians protesting need to not be scared of fascist threats - but they DO need to be informed of proper safety protocols! The first rule of combat (clowning or kinetic) is SURVIVE! The second rule is help others survive. This means collective and diligent situational awareness.
What do we mean by collective and diligent situational awareness? We mean spin your head like a carousel driving down a highway full of clown cars. Keep your eyes moving. Watch, observe. But don’t just use your eyes. Use all your senses. Listen. Smell. Feel the vibes of the crowd. Always know where to find concealment or cover. Always know your escape routes! Keep moving if you are in a large crowd. Keep moving until you are no longer feeling claustrophobic like a bunny in a magician’s pocket. SPREAD OUT! Clusters of people are easy targets for kinetic weapons of war. Troops on the front lines of Ukraine knew to spread out long before they reached the front lines.
If you know 1st Aid, come prepared!
The C.A.R. also wants to remind people that we have lived under the threat of random stochastic terror attacks at shopping centers, schools, and churches for a very long time. The fascist terror threats are intended to cower you, but they represent no greater a threat than we have already grown too used to facing in our daily lives. Fear is the weapon of fascists. Joy is the weapon of clowns. Bring your joy!
That’s the FTTL. We hope we do not have to raise it like boxer shorts on a flag pole, but we are prepared to do so if conditions on the ground aren’t funny.
We will be monitoring independent journalists on Substack and AP wire service for any signs of fascist escalations. The next level of the FTTL is “Glad we listened to a lot of Leonard Cohen. Get home safely: we’re in this to win the war against fascism - let them have their miserable kinetic battles. We will win the only battle that counts: the battle for Hearts and Minds.”
The Clown Army of Resistance (C.A.R.) is a non-violent army of irregular clowns committed to fighting fascism with IRL farce. Learn more and share widely.
We are NOT meeting recruiting goals! Please consider joining as a recruiter this weekend. All you need to do is teach fellow dissidents about the power of clowning in breaking fascist regime narratives. It is very difficult to demonize a bunch of clowns who are making you laugh. If you can make riot police laugh, you are helping to break the fascist-regime narratives about #NoKings! If you can help a fellow dissident channel rage into joy, you have recruited a new clown to the C.A.R.! Do so safely, and remember the 1st rule of combat (clown or kinetic) is SURVIVE to clown another day!